Ephesians 6
Advice to Children
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 6:2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—6:3 “so that [things] it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” NIV
6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 6:2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 6:3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” NKJV
Obey Your Parents in the Lord
This is the same request given to the “wife” in submitting to her “husband” as “to the Lord” (Eph 5:22), as the Lord would direct her. That is always giving the Lord her priority. The same goes for children, who wish to obey their parents as their Lord and Savior has asked them. They are to avoid stubborn disobedience that makes family life difficult. Children are to foster compliance, in areas where the Lord, they love, would allow them. Children in the Lord, will avoid “bitterness and anger” (Eph 4:31), even if the children suffer due to their parent’s faults.
Sometimes it is the case where overbearing parents will try to prevent a child from religious worship. The child will do their best to comply, “with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ” (Eph 6:5), while they worship God in prayer quietly and privately.
Obey Your Parents, This is Right
Paul is addressing believing parents who follow the Lord and “walk in the way of love, just as Christ has loved” them (Eph 5:1). They will walk in the way of wisdom from the Lord, within their family.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure,
then peace-loving, gentle,
accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit,
impartial, and sincere.
James 3:17 Berean Study Bible
Their love of God joined with love for each other and their children is the foundation of family order. Proven in history a million times repeatedly. The rebellion of children, to go their own way in opposition to worthy parents leads to a life of trouble and many sad mistakes.
When Paul says this is right, he means that children are to regard the directions of worthy parents as the right thing for them to do. The wrong thing to do is to disobey, in secret or openly. “For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked” the rebellious “leads to destruction” (Ps 1:6).
Children should guard their hearts in the face of cruel parents. They can’t afford to allow any form of hatred to exist in their hearts. John says, “Anyone who hates a brother of sister,” their family and friends, “is in darkness and walks around in darkness” (1 John 2:11). Hatred is so dangerous that it will create a picture in the mind that justifies hatred, which is another form of murder. The darkness that hatred creates in the heart is cruel, oppressive to the Spirit and kills joy in the Lord.
Honor Father and Mother, First Commandment With a Promise
This is in reference to both parents and children. They are promised to be blessed with a better life, a longer life when they wish to obey their parents in the Lord.
God gives a special blessing to children who care for aged parents, they are more likely to outlive their parents.
That it May Go Well with You
God has given a promise to children. If they are compliant, in the Lord, to the best wishes of their parents, when they are young. Later in life they will be blessed by God, and they may not even know the reason why they are so blessed.
For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.
Psalms 1:6
This phrase was added by Moses when he repeated the 10 Commandments 40 years later in Deuteronomy 5. Showing that further refinement and understanding are part of knowing the will of God. This is true for all believers, what they understood a one point, was good. Later in life, with wisdom of experience, they have a sharper-clearer understanding, knowing the will of God.
The Mount Sinai Commandments
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex 20:12 NKJV).
40 Years Later Moses Repeats the Commandments
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you” (Deut 5:16 NKJV, the bold words were added by Moses).
This is the only time Paul references by name, the Ten Commandments, in Ephesians. In the fifth chapter Paul says, “there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality” (Eph 5:3), which is a broad reference to the seventh Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex 20:14). However the single word “adultery” does not stand for the scope of Paul’s words.
Paul nor the Apostle John build their letters around the Ten Commandments, instead it was around the story of redemption of Jesus Christ and the call to love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love" (1 John 4:7).
Advice to Fathers
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. NIV
6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath [anger], but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. NKJV
Exasperate Your Children
The Greek word is parorgizó, meaning: To provoke and exasperate with anger. Instead fathers are to “be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good” (Titus 3:8), in their speech and conduct.
In discipline fathers were not to cause their children to become angry and upset to the point of tears. Because their fathers are arbitrary, demanding strict obedience, without good reasons and without kindness, misrepresenting “the goodness of the Lord” (Ps 27:1).
They are not to be severe in punishment of their children, over slight mistakes. They are not to order them around to perform tasks that the father would not do himself. He is to encourage them to help each other, love each other, love their mother and “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2).
Fathers do not lie to their families. If a father lies, he assumes the identity of being a son of the Devil, whom Jesus said, “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Instead, in his conversation he is to set a higher standard for himself. To aim to keep his “conversation always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Col 4:6). Salt brings out of food a good flavor. “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations” (Ps 100:5).
Instead in their discipline they are not to break “the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph 4:3), between fathers, wives and their children. Fathers are to have “holy hands” that do not lift their “hands” to strike another in “anger or disputing” (1 Tim 2:8). They are not to assert their authority in an unreasonable manner, with angry threats. Fathers are to have patience with their children and let them learn from their mistakes, when it is in their best interest.
Many youths have turned to rebellious ways, solely due to their father’s unreasonableness and the use of severe punishment. The damage done can be generational
The overly severe punishments of the Father will draw his wife’s sympathies toward the child. Creating friction in the home, with no room for tender love. Worst of all if the husband is a religious man or clergy, this ministry will be severely crippled. We pity his congregation, for he will preach without the Spirit of God and His blessings.
Instead Teach Children Instruction from the Lord Jesus
First and most important, Paul sees that the father of the family is to be active in teaching his children. He is not to be an absent parent, leaving spiritual responsibility all on his wife, or on the church.
Some men have misread this instruction. They have used harsher language from selected Old Testament sources. Thinking they were teaching their children. Some fathers have used modern prophets and popular teachers to pattern their instructions.
The expression instruction of the Lord is used seven times in Ephesians, represents the “Lord Jesus Christ”. Paul is pointing to the instructions and teaching of Jesus to be the prime source of his training of his children.
The expression bring them up, means that his teaching should be appropriate for their age. Consistent with much grace and love and with much prayer.
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father,
who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope,
encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word”
(2 Thess 2:16,17)
Instructions to Slaves
(Col 3:22-25; Titus 2:9-10; 1 Cor 7:21-23)
Ephesians 6:5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6:6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you [people pleasers], but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 6:7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people [master], 6:8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. NIV
6:5 Bondservants [slaves], be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling [respect & fear], in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6:6 not with eyeservice [win their favor], as men-pleasers, but as bondservants [slaves] of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 6:7 with goodwill [wholeheartedly] doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, 6:8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. NKJV
First of All
How do we obey Christ? With much sincerity of heart. Meaning free from pretense and lies instead with sincerity and single-minded devotion.
Slavery in Rome
Slavery in Rome was universally honored. Rome was built on slaves; it was a slave empire. Laws did not allow slaves to make demands or refuse an order from their master’s. Doing so could bring severe punishment or being sold again at the slave market to further abuse
Paul’s Basic Premise
Christian slaves are to be set apart in their attitudes, from all other slaves. Which in turn will gain favor from their master’s and introduce their master’s to their faith.
Obey with Respect and Fear
Slaves were to show respect for their master’s rank and authority, with humility and submission. They were not to make expressions, under their breath, of disgust or hatred. Such may be exactly what their slave owner deserves. Roman slaves were known for their, under the surface, defiance and rebellion. It could be seen in their eyes and their demeanor. To stir up trouble for their master was very common.
However, for a Christian slave, to do so would be to act contrary to the mercy and grace that God had shown to them. They were to “walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved” them (Eph 5:2). If a slave had a good mistress she served, she would be known for her honesty and kindness of her heart, due to her faith in God. If a slave served his master and was given harsh treatment, unjustly, he was not to plot rebellion or create disorder and discontent. For Jesus has given us instruction to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matt 5:44).
Sincerity of Heart
Paul’s advice was given so that there would be no place in the believer’s heart for bitterness and anger, although it may be very justified. The slave cannot let any hate or malice toward their master spring up due to abuse, neglect or false accusations. Because “bitterness” and “malice” will “grieve the Holy Spirit of God” (4:30,31). This is the behavior of those who don’t know of God’s love whose “mouths are full of cursing and bitterness…and the way of peace they do not know. (Rom 3:14,17).
We must remember Paul is speaking to slaves that have tasted and experience the “grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit” (2 Cor 13:14), in their lives. When they have been “born of the Spirit” (John 3:6) they will have sustaining, uplifting inner strength unavailable to any other slave. Their prayers will be heard by God. For “the Spirit” will help their “weakness,” and “the Spirit himself intercedes for” them “through wordless groans” (Rom 8:26).
A slave that “loves our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love” (6:24) has advantages, of better mental health with unusual answers to prayer. Such was the experience of Daniel the slave in Babylon, “God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel” (Dan 1:9).
God can give to slaves the favor of their masters, granting them some privileges and trusted positions. We will never know how many slaves have seen changes in their masters’ hearts. That have received favor and good reports from the family they serve cheerfully —all due to God’s blessing in answer to their prayers.
Obey their Master’s as Doing the Will of God From Their Hearts—
Slaves were to obey their masters as if it were the will of God, as if God had instructed them. Why would obeying a pagan Master be accounted as the will of God, when it may be given in harshness from an arrogant master? They know that “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Col 3:17).
Because God is so good, that He counts the assigned task of the slave from a pagan master, to be the same as Paul, Peter and John are following the will of God in their ministries. They both are sons and daughters of God, both hearing the wonderful words, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! [enter into the joy of your Lord]” (Matt 25:21).
God will abundantly bless the slave because God’s will was followed despite the difficulty of the assigned task. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” (Col 3:23). Because of the faithfulness of the slave, they will be blessed in ways that will be noticeable by their masters. In some ways even their masters will share through the slave, God’s blessings. How can the blessings of God’s favor be given to the slave that is filled with hate and bitterness?
Such behavior is at the heart of the Gospel that comes from the cross of Christ which gives us blessings we did not earn or deserve. This will cause “the word of God” to “spread” (Acts 6:7) to the surrounding influences of the slave owner, to the praise and glory of God.
Slaves are to Work Wholeheartedly as If They Were Serving the Lord
The slave does their work knowing that God loves them and honors their efforts to please Him in all things, even while working long hours to please their masters.
The slave knows, all that they do, laundry, cleaning, harvesting or caring for children, what they do in their household labor, “pleases the Lord” (Eph 5:10). This wholesome attitude will “keep” them “from setting” their “hearts on evil things” (1 Cor 10:6), such as resentment and loathing for their slave owners.
Paul’s instructions reveal a picture of God that does not like to see any believing slave mistreated or whipped on account of their faith. Thus God give permission for “slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything” (Col 3:22). In doing so the slave leaves the master in the hands of God. It the whole record were told, we would learn that many slave owners came to respect their Christian slaves, granting them permission attend their worship services and given to them trusted positions.
The Lord Will Reward the Slave as If Serving the Lord
This will give the slave emotional and spiritual stability, after hours and days of hard work, with little time off for sleeping or eating, while their master’s lived in luxury. To prevent anger and revenge at injustice and for lack of any personal rights honored. They know that all their hard work is noted by their Lord who will personally reward them with eternal life in heaven, after they have finished a long day of laundry, because the Lord counts their slave labor, as if you are serving the Lord.
So What If the Master Should Abuse their Slave, Emotionally, Physically or Sexually?
What Should be the Slave’s Response?
Will this be easy? No. Only by God’s grace could the abused slave practice—No “hate” (1 John 2:9,11), no retaliation, no “bitterness” and no “anger” (Eph 4:31). The slave’s eyes are not on the master as if their approval is all that matters—But on God’s approval, is all that matters. Even after long hours on hands and knees scrubbing the floor, followed by abusive slaps from the grumpy master. God stands beside the slave with divine approval that enlightens their souls with peace.
If we could meet a Roman slave today, we would see their spiritual strength in love for God, matured under hardship. Their faith would far exceed today, almost all Western Christians.
The value of prayer and faith must not be underestimated, as Jesus promises to those who have the Spirit abiding in them, “ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:24). Meaning that their prayers answered will bring them joy in the Lord. As the Psalms has expressed answered prayer: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him” (Ps 28:7).
Jesus told a young lady “Your faith has healed you. Go in peace…” (Mk 5:34). If the servant is abused, physically, sexually and does not respond with righteous anger. They can call on God who creates justice for the oppressed. For “the Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed” (Ps 103:6).
We have no idea how many praying slaves have been delivered from dread and fear of their masters. When they “cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress” (Ps 107:6). “I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies” (Ps 18:3). In answer to the slaves’ distressing prayers, we don’t know how many times the master of slaves was called away on a long journey, leaving the slave in peace. We don’t know how often the slave master’s wife, protected a Christian slave, because God put it in her heart to do so.
Just imagine for a moment. In the resurrection the redeemed, the slave is honored by God the Father in ways unimaginable to us. All on account of their underappreciated, under nourished hard labor for a Roman Master of slaves. God is good, very good all the time.
Their reward in heaven is very great, having only worked as a slave, with their eyes on God in whom they trusted. Yet God accepted their domestic labor as if “you did for me” (Matt 25:40).
The praying slave trusting in their Lord places their masters in the hands of God Himself. God will hold the master accountable in answer to the slaves’ prayers for help. The slave owner can come under the judgment of God, on behalf of the slave’s trust. We pity the master of the slave when God takes charge, “it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Heb 10:31). We can never know all the many times; things have happened to the master for the good of the slave. Neither can we ever know how many times God changed the master’s heart toward the slave, in answer to their prayers.
In Paul’s counsel to slaves, the survival of the church was at stake. Rome was an enslaving empire that ruled the world. If Paul had taught slaves the ideals of modern Western Societies of individual liberty, it would be seen in Rome as a religion that encourage slave uprising. There was in Rome many slave rebellions, which Rome put down with total violence, once nailing so many crosses that they covered great distances.
Within a group of believers, in their worship fellowship, there was no slave or free, all were one in Christ Jesus. The slave attending a group worship was equal to a rich Roman, who also may be present. The ideals of personal liberty and freedom were something unheard of in any ancient empire or society. Yet Christianity flourished and grew into a strong movement that conquered Roman paganism, that for centuries ruled the world and abolished slavery.
Observations For Us Today
For believing mothers of young children, her daily household and family tasks should be thought of as doing the will of God. As much as a missionary in a foreign field.
For her Lord will reward each one, mothers whatever good they do for their families, the Lord will reward them with “the riches of his glorious inheritance” (Eph 1:18).
The same can be said for the Father while pursuing their honest career that God has gifted them to perform. The work assigned them, when “done in the sight of God” (John 3:21), will receive an equal inheritance in the “kingdom of light” (Col 1:12), as the most famous evangelist. Reward in heaven is not given on scale of importance of accomplishment on earth.
Some women are treated very abusively by their husbands, making them much like a slave. They have no right to their own opinion. They are married to hard hearted men who love total control. Although their situation may be of their own poor choice in marriage. But through faith they must not permit bitterness or hatred. All that they do may be unappreciated by their husband. Yet if done as to the Lord, committing themselves to the care of the Lord. The Lord will reward them for their sincerity of heart, as if they were missionaries in a foreign field.
To Slave Owners
Ephesians 6:9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him [God]. NIV
6:9 And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him. NKJV
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