Ephesians 4:29-32
Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve [bring sorrow] the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. NIV
4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. NKJV
4:30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. New Living Translation
4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage [bad temper] and anger [being mad, shouting], brawling quarreling, [contention, strife] and slander [cursing], along with every form of malice [maliciousness, evil intent]. 4:32 And be kind to one another [helpful], tenderhearted [compassionate], forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. NIV
4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. NKJV
The Context
Ephesians 4:29-31 form the immediate context of what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit. The twelve negative word descriptions, such as bitterness and unwholesome speech, have an impact on the Spirit’s presence in our lives. In short, they grieve the Spirit. We should never lose sight that spiritual decline and indifference is often rooted in our words reflecting the unremedied darkness inside us. Imagine how important words of grace, pleasant greetings, warm embraces, uplifting words.
Likewise, the seven positive word descriptions, such as building others up and being kind to one another show evidence of the Spirit’s presence in our lives. The nine fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22,23) have space to grow so that our lives are fruitful with good works. Best of all, through the Spirit’s presence we are drawn very close to God our Father and His Son Jesus Christ.
The Spirit was Present at Creation
The Spirit was present on the first day of creation, when “the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters” (Gen 1:2).
The Spirit was also present on the sixth day of creation, when God “breathed into his [Adam’s] nostrils the breath of life” Gen 2:7). The Spirit of God was active in the creation of Adam. “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life” (Job 33:4). The Hebrew word for breathed is neshamah, means “Breath, spirit or soul.”
Receiving the Spirit
Peter tells us, in his Pentecostal sermon, how to receive the Spirit. “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38). There is no complicated formula of things you must do to receive the Spirit. The Spirit accompanies sincere confession of sin with repentance. Any time we come to God with our confession of sin, with heartfelt desire to be changed. God gives us the Spirit.
It is not as if we receive the Spirit after confession. No, we have been led to confession by the influence of the Spirit. Afterwards the Spirit creates space in us, sets up His “temple” (1 Cor 6:19) in us and brings us closer and closer to God the Father and His Son. Afterwards we need to pay attention that we don’t grieve the Spirit from our lives.
The Spirit Was Released in Full Measure at Pentecost
The Spirit has a special mission held in reserve until Pentecost. Jesus told his disciples that the Spirit is yet to come to them, “when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth” (John 16:13). And “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father—he will testify about me” (John 15:26). Jesus told the disciples to gather together to receive the Spirit, known as the day of Pentecost, saying, “you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you” (Acts 1:8).
The Spirit should always be considered as having holy influences on us. Meaning a sacred and pure influence on every aspect of our lives. Because the Spirit is an exact likeness to God the Father. The Spirit is entitled as God’s Holy Spirit.
This gives us added reasons why the Spirit’s influence will always lead to kindness to one another, because God is kind to us (Titus 3:4). “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col 3:12). The Spirit mirrors the exact character of God to us.
The Holy Spirit of God
“The Holy Spirit of God,” this expression is only once used in either New or Old Testament. In all translations, NIV, NKJV, KJV or NAS. This expression relates to the closeness of the Holy Spirit to God the Father. The Spirit’s presence in our lives represents the fulness of God’s character. The two, the Spirit and God, cannot be completely separated. In the New Testament it is called “Spirit of God” in the NKJV, KJV and NAS is used twelve times. The Spirit bring God’s presence to us because the Spirit comes from God, thus “the Spirit gives life” (2 Cor 3:6; John 6:63), to us.
As Jesus has taught us, “When the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father” (John 15:26 NKJV). Meaning that the Spirit comes from God the Father, to us, in answer to the prayer of Jesus in our behalf. The Spirit is sent to be close to us, personal, bringing holy, saving, uplifting, “sanctifying” (1 Pet 1:2), powerful influences directly from God the Father.
The Spirit is our Helper
In the NKJV the Spirit is called “Helper” in four places: John 14:16, 26; 15:26 and 16:7. The Greek word is paraklaytos meaning “advocate, intercessor, consoler, comforter, helper, one called alongside like a companion and one that stands by us.” There are about seven different ways to describe the actions of the Spirit. Finding a suitable English translation is a very difficult task. No single English word has the same range of meaning as the Greek word, for all the words apply to the work of the Spirit. Various Bible translations use these words as names for the Spirit.
The Holy Spirit has many functions, all for our good. The Spirit can be with us all day in all these roles for our spiritual growth. Jesus promised us that the “Advocate” will be “with you and will be in you” (Jn 14:17). The Spirit will be where you are at, closer than the physical presence of Jesus.
As our helper, the Spirit is never out of resources or power, because the Spirit comes from God the Father. It is not possible to list all the ways the Spirit has been send by God to help us. From the tasks of finding something lost or sending us in the right direction in our lives. They are too numerous, too frequent, too varied to count. The Spirit helps the child, the teen, as well as the mother of several small children. For “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Thus, we can “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet 5:7).
The Spirit is our Comforter
The Spirit is called a “comforter” (John 14:16 KJV). When sorrow falls on us, making us blind with depression. The Spirit will be there, for “the Spirit helps us in our weakness” (Rom 8:26). We become stronger, much stronger with the Spirit’s presence in our lives, than without the Spirit. When all alone, the Spirit is a companion to us.
The Spirit is an “advocate” (John 14:26 NIV) to the Father in our behalf. “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Rom 8:26). The Spirit is not indifferent to our needs; the Spirit is passionate about us. The Spirit is out ahead of us, providing answers and solutions for us, before we are aware of them. The Spirit prays to the Father on our behalf, when we are too confused and don’t know what to do, even how to pray. Unseen by you, God has His hand on you, by His Spirit that lives in you, with you and beside you. \
The Spirit is Our Advocate
Jesus told the disciples, the day before he was arrested, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate [comforter, helper] to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:16-18). We are not left alone in this life; God is not indifferent to our many small daily tasks in which we ask for His help. He does not sit in heaven, at a safe distance from us. We are not His orphans, fatherless. As a good father to his children God’s presence is pledged to be with us—Through His Spirit.
Spirit is Like The Wind
Jesus compares the Spirit as the wind saying “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So, it is with everyone born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). Just as each one of us, individually feels the force of the wind blowing on their faces. It is as if the Spirit is blowing on just them. Even as others around us, also feel the Spirit individually on them. The Spirit has unseen presence moving on a global scale, yet on a personal an individual scale. Changing us, teaching us, reproving us, and giving us the comforting presence of our Father God.
The wind has no boundaries; it is present globally. The wind stands for presence of the Spirit that moves all over our wide world. In general terms Spirit moves in stealth mode. It is beyond the intellect, past human reason. It cannot be controlled by any individuals or organizations. The Spirit does not come to our request or demand. When the Spirit comes, he comes on his own terms.
Our Helper can personally aid millions of believers, all over the world, all at the same time. The Spirit has a global influence, as is the air we breathe. He can have a universal dwelling “inside” the life of millions of believers, day, or night. To lead and teach all believers at the same time. All at one time. All at once. All over the world. Answering needs, supplying the presence of God and His Son in ways that bring us up, that lifts us up, into an atmosphere of spiritual health. While at the same time giving to all of us, the Spirit fruits His presence seen in “love, joy and peace” (Gal 5:22).
No one can program the Spirit. No one can promise the Spirit’s presence. No one can hold a meeting and announce that the Spirit will be present. God directs His Spirit, we can’t.
How to Invite the Spirit in our Midst, to be Present at the Fellowship of Believers
First, we need to be “kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ has forgave you” (Eph 4:32). This brings the Spirit to us and does not grieve the Spirit.
The Apostle tells us how we can receive the Spirit in our midst. “And this is His [God’s 1st] command: to believe [have faith] in the name of his [God’s] Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He [God’s 2nd] commanded us [He gave this commandment to us]. The one who keeps God’s [two] commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he [God] lives in us: We know it by the Spirit, He [God] gave us. (1 John 3:23,24).
The first command from God Himself, is to have faith in His son. To fix our eyes on Jesus. To follow him in discipleship. To study his words, his parables, his teachings. To listen to his Apostles
The second command of God is to love one another. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God [the Father], Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God [at all], because God is love.” (1 John 4:7,8)
The results of keeping God’s two commandments are, that He will give to us the Spirit. But much more, for God promises to live in us, and we will live in Him. We know this to be real because of His Spirit. Because of the presence of His Spirit in our lives.
Thus, if we as a group, a fellowship, or a congregation want the Spirit to be active in their lives. They must teach and lead everyone to love one another. To build each other up. To remove by prayer all barriers to love. To practice kindness and friendship among themselves. This will prepare the way for God to send to us the Spirit, as we ask God for this gift.
New Kind of Worship
Now there is new kind of worship made available through the Spirit. As Jesus told the woman at the well, “true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks” (John 4:23). This worship is not sanctuary based, as in a specific location in Jerusalem, where all are mandated to attend, bringing their tithes and offerings.
The Spirit is the means where God can be at “home” (John 14:23) in us. True worship is done with the Spirit’s presence and influence. This is a radical difference with Judaism, which is very visual, organized based worship, led by the Levites.
The Spirit carries the name of Jesus to us, not its own name. The Spirit comes to us standing in place of the presence of Jesus. From the Spirit flows, the love of Jesus and His Father for us. As if we were standing near them.
The Magic of the Spirit
The magic of the Spirit is His personal presence to the believer is as if the Spirit is only with them personally. Although we know that Spirit is with others, its personal presence is in real time. Giving us comfort, support, guidance, and wisdom. “We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives” (Col 1:9).
As we receive of these gifts, day after day, we become deeply thankful to God the Father, who has sent His Spirit to be with us. We are filled with praise and love to God for His gifts.
We don’t possess the Spirit; the Spirit possesses us. We are to be led by the Spirit of God, “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God” (Rom 8:14). We are led into the presence of God. We are led by the Spirit to have a love for God. It is all the Spirit’s doing.
We don’t ever directly communicate with the Spirit. We don’t talk to the Spirit, pray to Spirit directly. Our prayers, our praise, our thanksgiving are always directed to “Our Father in Heaven.”
The Spirit never speaks about himself to us. “He will not speak on his own… I said the Spirit will receive from me that he will make known to you (John 16:13,15).
The Spirit is sent to be close, personal, and very attentive to individual needs, individual fears, as well as our unseen internal struggles. The Spirit functions comfortably with either men, women, or children. Even with guilty criminals that call on the name of the Lord. The Spirit is attentive to urgent prayers. The Spirit prays to God in our behalf when we are unaware of danger and our need of prayer. For, “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” (Rom 8:26,27).
Spirit Will Teach You All Things
The Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things” (John 14:26). The teaching role of the Spirit is never to underestimate. As you open Scriptures, ask God the Father to teach you, to give you understanding of Scriptures. Placing them in your heart forever.
The Holy Spirit has been described in many ways in the New Testament
The term “Holy Spirit” is used about ninety-three times in the NT.
The term “Spirit of God” is used eleven times in NIV and twelve time in NKJV
The Term “The Spirit of the Lord” is used four times in NIV, and five times in NKJV
The Term “The Spirit of truth” is used four times in NIV; five times in NKJV
The Term “The Spirit gives life” is used three times in the NIV; once in NKJV
The term “Spirit of Christ” is used two times in NIV & NKJV
The term “New way of the Spirit” used once in NIV
The term “Newness of the Spirit” used once in NKJV
The term “God’s Spirit” is used once in NIV
The term “God is Spirit” is used once in NIV & NKJV
The Term “The Spirit of His Son” is used once in NIV & NKJV
The term “the Spirit who is from God” is used once in NIV & NKJV
The “Spirit He (God) gave us” is used once in NIV
The “Spirit whom He (God) as given us” is used one in NKJV
References to the “Spirit” is used somewhere around 75-100 times in the NT
Other expressions used in the New Testament for the Spirit:
The Spirit of holiness (Rom 1:4)
Set your mind on what the Spirit desires (Rom 8:5)
The mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace (Rom 8:6)
Led by the Spirit (Rom 8:14)
The love of the Spirit (Rom 15:30)
Made alive in the Spirit (1 Pet 3:18)
Receive the power of the Spirit (Lk 4:14)
Overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom 15:13)
Live by the Spirit (1 Cor 3:1)
Receive gifts of the Spirit (1 Cor 14:1)
Fruits of the Spirit is love, joy and peace... (Gal 5:22)
To please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life (Gal 6:8)
Songs from the Spirit (Eph 5:19; Col 3:16)
Joy given by the Holy Spirit (1 Thess 1:6)
The Holy Spirit and in sincere love (2 Cor 6:6)
Fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all (2 Cor 13:14)
Your love in the Spirit (Col 1:8)
The Spirit gives us wisdom and understanding (Col 1:9)
The Spirit gives us wisdom and revelation (Eph 1:17)
Saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit (2 Thess 2:13)
The Spirit God, gives us power, love, and self-discipline (2 Tim 1:7)
Through Christ Jesus, so by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit (Gal 3:14)
This is how we know that he lives in us: by the Spirit, he gave us. (1 John 3:24)
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit (1 John 4:13
I tell you; no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit (John 3:5)
How much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! (Lk 11:13).
The Spirit is to be Central in Gospel Teaching
The subject of the ministry of the Spirit should be, must be, central in gospel teaching and preaching. Anytime the Spirit is neglected and untaught, we are poorer, spiritually. We will be like the Church in Laodicea that was counseled “to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich” (Rev 3:18). The fire represents the Spirit that came upon the disciples as “tongues of fire” (Act 2:3). The gold stands for the Spirit filled life, which is the gold standard for every believer in Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
1-Do Not Greive the Spirit
The Spirit is not grieved with himself—but for us. We can grieve the Spirit with our anger, jealousy, and irritability with others and our “unwholesome speech” (Eph 4:29), or words that hurt others in any way.
The result is not that the Spirit abandons or leaves us. It is that we will experience a loss of inner peace and joy in the Lord. When after “anger” (4:31), we follow it with repentance, the Spirit will be there for us. The Spirit will give us “access” (2:18) to our Father God where we will receive forgiveness and justification from faith alone.
However, if we grieve the Spirit in our rough treatment of others, tenants in our apartment, we stand a chance that we will justify our actions, feeling no need to be sensitive to the feelings of others. This is very dangerous, for such a person, cannot be sealed for the day of redemption into eternal life.
Don’t Put Out the Spirit’s Fire
In a list of fifteen practices of the “children of light” in Thessalonians Paul encourages the believers saying to them “Do not quench the Spirit” (1 Thess 5:19). In other words, don’t stifle, turn away the Spirit’s fire burning inside your spirit.
The Greek word for “quench” means to extinguish, suppress, the fire. In practical terms the Spirit’s good influence on our lives, fighting our flesh in our behalf (Gal 5:17), planting the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:19), is suppressed, and are we left to “walk around in the darkness” (1 John 2:11).
We are not to quench the fire of enthusiasm which often will burst out in prayers, praises, thanksgivings. What a privilege to teach “With words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words” (1 Cor 2:13). What a shame to lose this privilege because our anger or unkindness has dampened the Spirit, resulting in further blindness as to our real spiritual condition.
John the Baptist predicted that Jesus “will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matt 3:11).
The Holy Spirit’s influence in our lives is compared with fire. At times it burns high and bright, while at times it is a bed of hot coals. The first presence of the Spirit, after the resurrection of Jesus, was at Pentecost where “tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them” (Acts 2:3). There is an old proverb which says, "Where the Spirit is, He burns.”
Where the Spirit is not, there is no enthusiasm in song or no “Spirit-taught words” (1 Cor 2:13) from the instructor of the Bible lessons or the public pulpit.
It is formal, often like reading a manuscript. They are like sermons that are filled with personal anecdotes, with very little Scriptures. They are words with no wings that move the listener into conviction and heart felt prayers, at times forcing them in their seats and bringing them to tears of repentance and peace with God.
The presence of the Spirit will bring the gift of warmth that percolates through the heart and at times, the body is swayed with deep emotion of love to God and heart felt prayers of repentance.
Quenching the Spirit by activities that run counter to the “fruits of the Spirit” (Gal 5:23).
Instead of love—Hate and unkindness
Instead of Joy—Joy abusing others or in one’s pride.
Instead of peace—Arguments and disagreements centered on one’s own demands.
2-Greive the Spirit
The worst possible thing that could happen to us is when God takes away His Holy Spirit from us and leaves us “orphans” (John 14:18) in this world. David knew this and believed his sin could have so grieved God’s Spirit that it would be forever gone in his life. So, he prayed to God, “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me” (Ps 51:11). What a sad day, to lose the sweet abiding presence of the Spirit in your life. Worst of all, you lose what you had first in your encounter with God the day you give your heart to God and received of His Spirit.
Activities that support the presence of the Spirit is following the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Lk 6:31). When not followed, the Spirit will tell you of your mistakes, if unheeded time after time, the Spirit is grieved.
Sealed by the Spirit of God
The Spirit is the element IN which the believer is sealed. It is by the gracious influences of the Spirit of God that seals us. When we are “led by the Spirit (Gal 5:18) we will receive many fruits and gifts. One of the major gifts of the Spirit is what we best describe, as an implant in our hearts, to do good. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good” (Eph 2:10). This desire to do good to others moves into our lives and fills every corner. We want to make a difference in the lives of others, our family, friends, strangers, animals, and plants. “Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it” (Ps 34:14).
Because our “bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor 6:18) where God can dwell in us. This is what is represented as being sealed by the Spirit. This sealing takes place in the here and now, giving to us assurance that at the Second Coming of Jesus, we will be ready for that day of redemption.
3-Do not Grieve
In Greek this is in the present tense. What Paul is saying is that “Unwholesome” (Eph 4:29) language, “bitterness rage and anger” grieves the Holy Spirit. We should guard the Spirit’s presence because the Spirit is involved with our resurrection.
When we are bitter, angry or have criticized others with malice. When we say spiteful words to others we grieve the Spirit. This affects our spiritual growth.
When a person is “born of the Spirit” (John 3:8) their “bodies” will become “temples of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor 6:19), then unwholesome words will create a discomfort in the Spirit’s temple. It is as if the Spirit creates a kind of ruckus of disapproval, especially when profanity uses God’s name with slander. Listeners should be warned as to the potential danger of listening to “obscenity” (Eph 5:4), in a movie, relaxed in their front rooms while eating popcorn.
The Lord’s Prayer
We will often pray the Lord’s Prayer, “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matt 6:13). Meaning that we ask God to guide our lives, our steps safely around or through the places where we would dishonor God’s name and not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. We are praying for Divine Guidance “to preserve our lives and kept [keep] our feet from slipping” (Ps 66:9). For we know that the evil one has set temptations along our path, so that he can cause us to fall into sin, again and again. “Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me” (Ps 31:3). When we are faced with trouble causing us to fear, we can like David say, “I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm” (Ps 55:8).
PS: Postscript
It bears repeating, for Paul develops the theme further in the next chapter, saying “not a hint of sexual immorality” or “obscenity” should be in our lives, or we will not “inherit the kingdom of God” (Eph 5:4). Thus, we must be very careful in watching movies that have swearing or constant cursing as part of their script. When we voluntarily watch profanity with graphic sexual encounters, with enjoyment, it will impact the Spirit of God in our lives, grieving the Spirit. For the Spirit creates a Holy space inside us, known as the “Spirit of truth” (John 14:17; 15:26; 16:13), so what your eyes are watching is not only lies, but evil—all the opposite of truth.
Instead, treasure the Spirit’s presence, guard it with your life, your “eyes” (Matt 6:22,23) and your “ears” (Matt 13:15) in tune with “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil 4:8).
For it is not belief in church doctrines, church attendance, tithe paying or being a worship leader that seals us for the day of redemption, our resurrection at the Second Coming of our Lord. It is the treasured presence of the Spirit of God “guiding” us and “teaching” us the way of the Lord (John 16:13; 14:26). We can know, we can be assured, by the “Spirit himself” which “testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Rom 8:16), that we are redeemed because our “robes” are “made them white in the blood of the Lamb” (Rev 7:14).
One final thought. Keep your conscience sensitive to what Scriptures teach, do that the tradition of men, don’t take the place of the voice of the Spirit. Remember that is not what an organization tells you, what you must do to be saved. Avoid adding new doctrines that are not New Testament based, thus making you feel guilty.
Daily ask God for the Holy Spirit.
Written by Brothers & Sisters of Scripture
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